Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to leave, pack my things and go. The remmanants an empty closet and a clean floor.

Its hard to breathe sometimes. Long goodbyes by the ocean, pressed in the bottom of a kumara pit and misting up the car windows watching the weather turn and the lights wink on.

In some ways I envy you. The idea of cutting loose appeals to me. Closure via cauterisation. I was going to do an exchange over second semester but I wanted to appease my parents too much. I don't want to appease anyone anymore. Selfish I know.

The sky grew heavy as we watched and so did my heart. I am filled with disconcerting sense of foreboding. Sympathy pains.